My big and very personal rant on sexism...

Okay, so I know that this blog is really just where I talk about our cute baby and the fun things that we are up to but every once in while something I am so passionate about comes up and it just leaves me kind of going crazy.  That is what happened today.  So I check my email every day and all the recent news stories are there.  I am ashamed how much I read stupid stories but I love the news! So anyway today after seeing it like five time I read an article about something like the wonderful things that come from gender segregation or something like that. And then of course after I read it I just could net get over how the author could reach an audience of thousands with some seriously lame opinions and all I could do was think about my own opinion and stew over it in my head. Hence, the blog post.  But here is my opinion on what she said.  She said that women are seeking more exclusively women activities because back in the good old days when women were segregated things were better, I guess.  Things were better when men did not get in the way of women doing their women things (like getting an education).  And then of course she mentioned how women can just enjoy doing their thing because other women are taking care of being chauvinist like the lady who wrote "The End of Men" and other extreme feminist books.  And that got me even more crazy because it seems like gender stuff is so out of whack like everywhere and I am sick about hearing how men are not necessary because women are doing it all and better.  Now don't get me wrong, I love that women have the opportunity today to do everything and I have thrived off of that for most of my life.  I know that women are equal to men and as far as I am concerned, compete on an even playing field with an equal amount of capacity to succeed or fail or be smart or not.  I mean you get what I am saying, not better, not worse, just equal.  I love this feeling and it has been a constant in my life.  But these articles and books are driving me nuts!  So I grew up playing touch and tackle football with the neighbors (who were always overwhelmingly boys for some reason).  We played other sports, video games, watched shows, snowboarded, skateboarded (which I did a lot with my girlfriends too btw), and whatever.  I didn't ever feel any different than them.  I felt the same really and then growing up with my mom sans a dad I was use to getting stuff for her that was hard to lift or changing the tire when we had a flat etc.  It was just normal.  It was not until I was about 18 that I realized I was different and that guys were different from me.  I remember changing a tire and having a guy stop to help me and I couldn't figure out why he was doing that when I obviously already had the situation taken care of.  It was not till later that I realized he really was just trying to help me because I was a girl.  That was the dawning of the realization that it was easier for me not to do it and that some nice men like to help and it makes them feel good when they can.  So after that I tried to appreciate more when a guy opened a door for me, helped me with something heavy, or ya wanted to change my tire for me.  Any who so even though we may be equally capable we are not the same way.  Especially now that I am pregnant I depend on my husband for doing things like hanging our upper cabinets because that would kill me right now.  I don't ever feel like I am competing with him (which I would have when I was younger) but that we compliment each other.  Now as a mom I feel like more than ever that we are different.  Aaron is no less loving and really is absolutely the best dad ever but we interact with our little boy so differently. We do not do things the same and I cannot do everything that he does and I know he does not do everything that I do.  And I am not saying any of it is bad, I think that it is all wonderful, (except for when I want to lock up Julian in his room for being so incredibly mischievous).  I feel really guilty about that.  As far as gender segregation in our life goes, we like to hang out with each other and each other's friends (both male and female) and we also like to do certain activities separate from each other that only that individual really enjoys doing that is of only one gender.  However, we have never once gone to like a normal activity, such as a birthday party, that entertained only one gender on purpose.  I think it is because we, like most of our friends enjoy being around other men and other women.  Basically all I am trying to say here, is that men and women are different and the world needs all of it.  Not just men, not just women.  And there are so many other differences that I depend on in my marriage, my life, etc.  Last thought but not the least (sorry for the dark confession here) is that it was such a hard thing for me to stay at home after law school and not work emotionally, because I had so much sameness running around in my head.  I wanted to contribute as much as Aaron to our marriage.  I didn't want to be a burden to him, financially or any other way.  I didn't want to avoid fulfilling my "real" potential by just being a mom.  I had a lot of other dumb thoughts that probably all spawn from the desire I have had ever since I was a little child to be a lion when I grew up and to be President of the U.S. because I wanted POWER!  and financial independence and POWER! Apparently I missed out on the princess boat.  Sadly I still want power and money and I didn't see that happening as a stay at home mom...  Mostly I hated the idea of not contributing as much as Aaron though. BUT, the main reason I stayed home is because I wanted to raise my own kid and didn't want someone else doing it for me.  Now after being home exclusively for about a year and a half I realize that there is so much more to offer than the same thing as Aaron.  More money is always nice but little by little I am realizing the importance of building a home for my family and for giving a safe and healthy life to my kid by the person who loves him the most.  That is infinitely important and cannot even be quantified by any kind of paycheck.  Also Aaron, the savvy economist always reminds me the important fiscal impact that stay at home mommies have on the economy and on society for a host of reasons.  Which knowledge has helped me to realize over time also that our little investment in our home has on society at large that may not be reflected in any quantifiable report.  And as far as the mundane things are concerned like changing diapers, cleaning a house that WILL never stay clean, making meal after meal, I think I am really getting that every JOB is full of mundane things and life is work.  Now instead of thinking that I am not contributing I like to think of all the contributions that I make that truly improve our standard of living.  That I contribute as a caregiver, a gourmet cook (haha maybe just a cook), a gardner, a seamstress, a nurse (a wet nurse for a long time...), a baby grower :), a cleaner (not a maid though), a teacher, a designer, a financial planner, a landscaper.  Those are all the things that I can think of that people pay other people to do except for the wet nurse thing.  I don't know if people pay other people to do.  But it did save us hundreds of dollars in formula every month for our poor little allergic kid.  So anyway there are lots of unquantifiable things that men and women have to offer.  Aaron makes it possible for me to do all the above but he also does so many other things that I don't know how to quantify.  The point is that men and women are equally needed in this world, everywhere.  And also that they do not have to contribute the same things to be equally important. Sorry for the erratic rants of a pregnant lady but I feel a lot better after getting those thoughts out of my head. Thanks!